Breaking Up - Is It Difficult?
These days it appears it is cool to be callous – hence the invention of the dumping your lover website www.youredumped.co.uk, where disgruntled other halves announce to the world and their lover they are dumping them and why.
The website insists dumpers indemnify it for any hurt caused.
Pictures of happy dumpers with the faces of their dumped ones obscured reveal a collection of smiling freedom-seekers, who have shrugged off emotional liability and have collared a brief episode of public notoriety as a dumper for their online scrapbooks.
Ending a relationship, it seems, has never been so easy.
Hopefully the dumped on this website similarly kicked their heels up in joy at being rid of their careless lovers.
But divorce and family lawyers see up close the real cost in terms of emotional fallout to ex-partners and children when someone decides a relationship is over and simply leaves with minimal explanation –
possibly to set up home with a new partner and family.
Many abandoned partners are suffering feelings of shock, isolation, devastation, lack of confidence and fear about the future at a time when they have to make some of the most crucial decisions of their lives – including hanging onto their home.
Maybe the couples on www.youredumped.co.uk had not been together for long, or were not expecting the relationship to last.
But having the reasons why you have been dumped made public – including any alleged lack of prowess in bed or allegations you were unfaithful – could also be subject to the laws of libel.
Taking to social media websites to criticise your ex is one of the actions family lawyers always warn clients about, as this can constitute unreasonable behaviour, if not libel.
Painful divorces – or separations between couples who may share joint assets or children but who never married – are never laughing matters, however, and family lawyers are trained in dealing with all the issues surrounding divorce, separation or arranging access rights for parents.
The fact that www.youredumped.co.uk only has 25 friends on Facebook and has not been updated since 2011 may offer some hope that not all couples think callous is cool.
But if you have been left by a partner and there are issues surrounding property and children you need to discuss, seeking expert help asap from a family lawyer can help get you back on track and make the decisions you need to take.
If you are getting over a relationship and are suffering from depression, the NHS can also offer counselling and advice on support and help, so see your GP if you are
- sleeping more during the day or staying awake all night
- depression is affecting your ability to study or work or care for your family
- you are using food, tobacco (smoking), alcohol, drugs or over-the-counter medication to help you through depression
- you experience mood swings, including unusual aggression, negativity or crying episodes.
And for those who are thinking of ending a relationship, breaking up really is hard to do, so think twice before you say “You’re dumped” online. It could cost you a lot of money hiring an expert divorce lawyer.